Monday, August 3, 2009

Day 49--Week 7

331.2 lbs...down 2.4 pounds for a total of 17.8 pounds lost.

Wooooo hoooooo! I'm so excited I'm down so much this week! In the big picture it's not a lot, but after having a week of 0, then -1, then -.2, this is huge!!!!

What I did differently this week than the previous slower weeks, I think, was I worked out 6 days (well one day I'm counting as 2 because I went twice) and my cardio didn't dip under 40 minutes. It seems like 55 minutes or there about is the magic cardio time weight loss number. I'm going to make sure to keep my cardio time above 50 minutes every day this week to see what happens! Ah, I'm so excited! I really felt like it was going to be another .something number. It just stinks because day to day in the mirror, I can't really tell any change going on, but here's a noticeably moment:
When we went the movies on Friday, usually I take a minute to get all my clothes pulled on my body properly and adjust my shirt so it stays down and doesn't roll up when I get into the theatre seat. Then I have to sort of slide in one hip at a time and wiggle my way in, where my thighs are pressed up and folding over the sides of the seat (nice mental image, I know). My hips and thighs are pressed so tightly, they hurt, but after a few minutes the pain is deadened until I want to change positions and then it's pain all over again. Well I did my movie theatre seat ritual and adjusted all my clothing and I braced myself for the squeeze, and I started sitting down--like a tight glove I slowly slid into the seat--no pushing, squeezing, or tucking. How wonderful is that?!! Yes, it was still extremely snug but for the first time in a couple of years, it wasn't painful to sit in the movie theatre seat! I was still exploding over the edge and my belly looked 28 months pregnant sitting there, but it was comfortable. That's just another confirmation that I'm doing good things, I'm doing the right things what's working, and I am getting results. I'm still completely living my life food wise as I wish, just making better choices, eating a bit less, and I've added the exercise.

I've found through my lifelong struggle with obesity, while losing it you can't just eat right, and you can't just exercise. It must be both. 'And when you eat right, you're learning how to eat all the foods you love in a healthier way, and you're not deprived. You aren't going to gain all this crazy weight back once you're "done" with the diet because this is the lifestyle you've learned. I think the ONLY drawback to the way I'm doing it versus the way the millions of dieters dieting out there are doing it, is it's going to take me a longer time to get there. We're so programed for instant gratification that taking the slow way, and not seeing results quickly enough discourages us. I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone, accepting me, my body, and my life, and allowing myself to be a healthy person, not focusing too much on getting to a certain weight by a certain date (although if I have a bad week, of course I get down about that). 'But it's a gradual change and I'm so amazed that each week there is a negative number. I always expect to have gained weight because that's what I've always done. Why not this time? I'm consistent, I'm not stressed about a deadline, I told everyone so I forced myself to choose accountability, and I'm not giving up. It's more important for me to be healthy and have to work a little harder than to be miserable complaining about what I did to myself, hoping for an easy way out. Seriously by this point, it's gotten so easy to just say I must go to the gym that I don't even stress out about it anymore. It's just what I do. There's no thinking. Sure there's I don't want to sometimes, but it's not anything like before. It's like traffic. You know you have to battle it, so you just keep going. You don't ever not leave your house to avoid traffic. You just turn up the radio, hold in your pee, and make the best of it. Does that make sense? lol

Meals
2 enchiladas (l/o)
1 cup of rice
1 apple cinnamon bun
2 cups of water

4 slices of pizza
2 apple cinnamon buns
3 cups of water

*edit--forgot to add the regular sized cookie dough blizzard (with no syrup, but extra stuff). I was food celebrating over losing more than a pound and this was my treat. How backwards is that? When I was in WW, they told us to buy ourselves a book or take a bath with new candles and scents. Hmmm, that would have been healthier...maybe next time I can do it better. :)

Exercise
None

Notes:
-What a bad day, health wise. We woke up late because we slept in late because we were suddenly woken in the middle of the night to a huge thunder/lightening/hail storm that kept us up for about an hour from the loud nose of hail and rain thumping our rooftop and windows. It was a bad sleep. Then we fully intended on finishing the kitchen, and that didn't happen because only Andrew worked on it (it turned out to really only be a one person job and I'd be in the way) and it was a bit more detailed than previously thought.
-Fully intending on working all day, I didn't make plans to go exercise with anyone. I thought I'd be sweaty and tired all day. The gym was closed for Heritage Day, so after I found out I wouldn't be working out, I still didn't do anything. The day was just a write off and sometimes that's okay.

Day 48

Fast and testimony meeting this morning...

I got to church thinking this was going to be another Sunday morning. I didn't have anything to really contribute testimony-wise and was getting ready to imprint myself into the pew and listen to everyone that did. Then the counselor got up and started speaking and what he said made my heart jump out of my chest. You just cannot ignore that inspiration to speak at a fast and testimony meeting. If you've never experienced it, it's sort of like sitting there minding your own business and someone suddenly injected you with a billion whatevers of adrenaline. My heart started racing so fast I had to feel my chest to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. My chest was hot and the pounding raced up into my neck and down into my belly, and flushed my cheeks. I was shaking. I tried to calm myself down so that I was composed enough to walk up to the podium when the counselor was finished speaking. This happens so suddenly and without warning. I even sighed and mumbled dang it because I've learnt to not ignore these promptings; if I don't get up and speak I regret it. When that's happened, I don't even know why I needed to say what I needed to say because I'm not sure that bearing my testimony is ever really for me. It's for someone out in the congregation. I no longer ignore my promptings.

As I was speaking, I don't really remember how I was able to speak, but standing next to myself it sounded like it all flowed really nicely. I always fear that I don't make sense and don't get points across or that I'm not truly communicating what's in my heart. I'm not a public speaker--I'm not even a private speaker. I wish I had an edit button to backspace and retype my verbal messes. Sometimes I even stutter. I feel like my brain works so much faster than the speed at which I'm able to express those thoughts--it all comes out in pieces. It makes me feel so stupid sometimes. It's very irritating.

But I spoke something much more beautiful than this:
I am the only member of my family. I was baptised in October when I was 18. It took me a little while to actually take the conversion, as the missionaries found me while I was walking on the street the February before. They stressed the importance of family and I was intrigued by the concept of sealings, and I was sold on the fact that I would get to do temple work for my dear mother who passed away when I was only 13. I had my heart set on doing this work. How wonderful that would be to do work for my mother who had passed?! By the time I was ready to do her temple work, I found out that it had already been done. I was angry and devastated that I was not going to be the one to get to do this work for her. I had been looking forward to this for years. Who could have done it anyway? We had no members in our family. As I was researching her work, I found out that her work was done on that same February that the missionaries found me. My belief is that my mother was doing work for me, and she paved the way for me to do the work here on earth for the rest of our family. This is part of my testimony of the truthfulness of this gospel; that the Lord Jesus Christ died for us; that He paved a path for us that we might live with him in eternity; that the plan of salvation promises that our families will be together forever. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

This was the second time this month I've talked about my conversion story. All month there's been talk of going to the temple, the visiting teaching message, etc. I've been thinking that I'm being pushed to get my family beyond the veil sealed--mom, dad, and my baby brother to me. Maybe Mom and Dad are trying to tell me to quit procrastinating. Maybe if I do this, it'll be less easy to procrastinate other areas of my life.

'And that wasn't it. One sister I visit teach got up and bore her testimony. She's been so ill the past 2 months and was struggling with her faith. Having 3 blessings previously and feeling forsaken, one night I was prompted to call her. I offered that Andrew would come over and he and her husband would give her yet another blessing. These things for Andrew and myself were small. We had an impression that it needed to be done, but when it was over, we hugged and in the following weeks had forgotten about it. Well this sister got up and spoke about it. Her testimony was a testimony to me about the truthfulness of this gospel. For some reason we were here to touch each other's lives. I didn't know that my husband's help with a blessing meant so much to her. Had I not been her visiting teacher, had I not obeyed my calling, that would have never happened. We're on this earth for a purpose and the organization of the church has a purpose and it enriches our lives so much that it's difficult to imagine how you could not believe in it's truthfulness.

I felt so humbled that being obedient has helped someone else. It's a much better feeling to know you've touched another's life than to hope for blessings for yourself. It just feels like you're fulfilling a greater purpose. 'And you build relationships and make friends out of it too. God has a plan for us and when we listen and obey, we are blessed beyond our dreams. I'm so grateful for this life. I'm so much happier than I ever imagined I'd ever be.

Meals
Fibre Plus chocolate and peanut butter bar

1 whole grain hamburger bun
2 tsp Becel margarine
1 breaded chicken patty
1 cup spinach, tomatoes, and pickles
1 apple cinnamon bun
3 cups of water

2 cups of water

2 corn tortilla enchiladas with
approx 3 oz ground turkey
4 olives
1/4 cup green onions
1/4 cup of red onions
1/2 cup of shredded cheddar and mozza cheese
1/4 cup of plain yogurt
1/2 cup of enchilada sauce
3/4 cup tomato Spanish rice
1 apple cinnamon bun
4 cups of water

Exercise
No intentional exercise as it's a rest day, but we walked at the big dog park for approx 40 minutes.

Notes:
-My enchiladas have a lot of cheese, but they're sooooo good! This is why I replaced the ground beef with ground turkey, and sour cream for plain yogurt. If you're not looking for it, you can't tell much of a difference in taste. mmmmm!
-This was our first time at the big dog park in the south. It was another hot day and we heard the park was adjacent to the river and yes, there was river access. B was so cute, having only swam once when he was a few months old, he tested the water for a few minutes but once another person threw the ball into the river he crashed through all the other dogs, even the dog that the ball was intended for, and ended up swimming to it and retrieving it. This was amazing because he's not one to bring back a ball all that often, and he went from zero to swim without any struggle it seemed. He ended up swimming most of the rest of the time we were at the riverside. We would walk along the shore and he would be thigh deep the entire time, getting out only to round a tree branch or something, and floppimg back in. I wish we would have brought our video camera--the fun he was having was priceless. Someone commented that he was a "funny swimmer" being how large and full grown he was. Well you'd be too if it was your first time swimming and you're trying to get across the English Channel without any practice.

Day 47

We're getting ready to put in a vinyl tile floor in the kitchen. No, it's not very fancy, but it will really make a difference compared to the pulled up, filthy, ripped in places, nasty linoleum that we have now. I bet that stuff has been here since the house was built, and somebody forgot to clean it the 19 years before we moved in. We've been in a state of renovation since we signed the mortgage contract, and have never had baseboards in the living room (although that was the one and only room we finished otherwise because we just could not live in sky blue room with a wolf head boarder glaring back at us). Every other room has brightly coloured walls and an untarnished wallpaper boarder along the top which I seriously hope was not put in as a selling feature. We're planning to scrape it all down and put a neutral colour throughout the entire house. No bells and whistles, just clean and pristine. Our little home is only a touch bigger than 1,000 square feet, but for us who aren't exactly handymen of the year, it's going to be a huge project. Mix that with our equal contributions of procrastination and you get what God probably thought when He was contemplating the First Day.

Battling 30 degree weather (that's 93 degrees, California--see it does get hot sometimes) this afternoon getting the tiles and running other errands drained us, so we had an easy BBQ for dinner, took B for a nice long play at the dog park, and cuddled up under blankets in air conditioned wonderfulness for a movie at home without having done any real work. Those are good, lazy days.

Meals
Fibre Plus chocolate and peanut butter bar
1 apple
3 cups of water

4 pieces of honey wheat and oats bread
3/4 can of tuna
3/4 tbsp mayo
1/4 cup of onion and pickles
1 cup of spinach
1 1/2 tomatoes
1/2 avocado
2 cups of water

1 regular sized Wendy's frosty
3 cups of water

2 whole grain hamburger buns
2 hamburger patties (approx 6 oz total)
1/3 cup shredded cheese
3 tbsp ketchup
1 1/2 cups of spinach
1 tomato
4 pickles slices
4 cups of water

Exercise
55 minutes interval hill treadmill
25 minute lower body machines and abs
10 minutes stretching

Notes:
-I'm just going to comment on my Wendy's Frosty--with the heat that day, it was medically necessary.
-Today was a day that I wanted to cancel going to the gym because it meant waking up early on a Saturday but I'm so glad I went! I have awesome friends that keep gym commitments with me and that has had a huge impact on my motivation to go. It's very difficult to go on your own when you're starting out and I give major props to those doing it all on their own. This is yet another reason why dieters probably fail--lack of encouragement and motivation. My friends have been my crutch and as I said before, I'm weening away from that need, but I'm still not quite walking on two feet. It's also so much more fun to have a friend to go with anyway. 55 minutes of boring cardio is actually 55 minutes of girl talk. What woman doesn't love and need that?