So of course I watched the first episode of The Biggest Loser Season 9 tonight. I'm kind of a fan of the show. Watching this time was different than watching episodes 1-8. Instead of crying because I was proud that someone else was doing it and trying to draw strength, motivation, or energy from their experiences (whilst an overflowing bowl of ice cream fell into my mouth), I cried a different cry. My tears, this time flavoured with 2 coconut lemon digestive crackers and a glass of skim milk, were for those sweet people who had lost their way, who were making a difference, and not realizing it yet. I found myself looking at my 322 pound body in amazement: I was you just months ago.
This season started out with the contestants taking their first weigh-in in their hometowns, in front of their family and friends. Bob, the trainer, called them courageous for putting it all out there and showing everyone who they were. He said it was a step to being completely honest with themselves. I couldn't stop crying because I did that by starting this blog 204 days ago. I was you just months ago.
With them, I felt the potential embarrassment and apprehension that they were going through, letting people see them shirtless, and reading the number on the scale; bare and unable to hide. I cannot emphasize what a huge milestone this was for me in my life--starting this blog and telling everyone what I weighed--and how awesome it is that people are doing this now that I see how empowered I've become. I believe this is a step everyone should take in their own way if they have this weight issue to overcome--being honest, being brave enough for the potential embarrassment, being free to accept yourself as you are, as you move into your new, healthy life.
We're fat because we fed our emotions. Period. We were filling a void by crying into a brown paper bag, we were celebrating joy by cutting a slice of cake; and we didn't get up from the couch except to get seconds. There's a point in which you begin to celebrate with laughter, cry on a shoulder, and go for a walk just to breathe the air. When we start doing those things more often and the food part becomes more as an accessory, our lives become richer. We're taking care of our bodies and learning how to treat ourselves in a healthier manner most of the time, instead of as the exception to the fattening, less-active rule. We begin to love ourselves. It's amazing how when we trust in ourselves and allow ourselves to fail, we can do so much more than we tell ourselves we're able to do.
-e
-Meals
1 cup multi-grain Cheerios
1 cup skim milk
1 apple
3 cups of water
17 tortilla chips
1/4 cup kidney beans
1/2 cup low fat black refried beans
1/4 cup salsa
1/3 cup reduced fat cheddar cheese
1 can of green tea ginger ale
2 cups of water
1 Edo meal (rice, vegetables, chicken, shrimp, teriyaki sauce)
2 cups of water
2 coconut lemon digestive crackers
1 cup skim milk
-Exercise
5 minute cardio warm up
60 minute personal training workout (strength training)
-Notes
I love Edo! It's a Japanese fast food/restaurant. It's one of the more healthy options when eating on the go. It was either that, or New York Fries where my brain obsessed for a few minutes over a hot dog and poutine. I can have that hot dog later. It doesn't agree with my sore body reminder that I am sore because I exercised hard for my health this morning.
