Monday, January 4, 2010

Day 203: (Week 29) Love The Encouragement

Welcome back to Monday weigh-ins!

322.0 pounds; -11.4 pounds from last weigh-in on Oct 13, 2009 (Day 120 in week 17); -27 total pounds

I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but I'm almost at a loss of 30 pounds! I can't believe that I passed 20 pounds after that huge plateau and depression induced hiatus. I can't believe I'm here. I've never lost this much weight in my life. I'm doing it.

This post is another sappy thank you to all those who continue to encourage me. I have shed tears from the amount of support I continually receive. You don't know what an impact your exclamation ended sentences make on my motivation to try harder; what it's done for my self-esteem, validating that people do want to see me succeed and still love me even though they know all this "stuff" about me. Thank you.

I received a beautiful email recently from a friend who is in a similar position as me, wanting to make a change in their own life. It was a few sentences simply offering to encourage each other, and asking what I'm doing that's working. I'm realizing that I'm actually making a difference--a tangible, visual difference in myself and I'm not just talking about it like I have been for the last 10 years. I'm doing it. There's just a fire that keeps burning brighter and brighter to succeed. If anyone thinks negative reinforcement works, positive reinforcement works better. Thank you for acknowledging me and validating my work. Being raised by a negative reinforcer robs the little girl inside of me of feeling positively about myself, learning this when I was young. I have always had a hard time taking a compliment. I try to shove it away because I always doubt, fear, or don't trust. But I'm learning that I am worthy of love and friendship just by being me and I don't even have to be a perfect version. Thanks to my surrogate mother who I'll name "Mommy" for planting that idea in my head.

To all of you, I'm humbled by your words.

-e

-Meals
1 chocolate breakfast fibre bar
1 apple

6 cups of water

17 whole grain tortilla chips
1/2 cup low fat refried black beans
1/2 cup salsa
1/4 cup non-fat sour cream
1/3 cup reduced fat shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup of asparagus
2 cups of water

17 whole grain tortilla chips
1/2 cup kidney beans
1 cup spinach
1/2 cup tomatoes
1/3 cup reduced fat shredded cheddar cheese
1/4 cup lean ground beef
1/4 cup non-fat sour cream
2-100 calorie Hershey's crisp wafer bars
2 cups of water

-Exercise
60 minutes step & pump class
60 minutes walking on the treadmill

-Notes
I haven't worked out for 2 hours in one go in a long time, and I'm not tired (surprisingly) probably because I'm sort of used to this. Pushing an extra 30 minutes didn't do me completely in; and I never got that exercise headache I was expecting after such a kick butt class (seriously, I was sweating through my knees and elbows). Maybe it was because I stayed hydrated and ate right after? I'll try that again next time and perhaps learn that I need 6 cups of water instead of just 3 cups.
In trying to eat from home, we're stretching our leftovers so a lot of the time you'll see me eating the same meal twice a day (seldomly) or for dinner one night, and as lunch the next day (often). It saves our budget and our belts. Win-win!