Home! It was a quick weekend, but a fun weekend! I really enjoyed being able to hang out with my husband away from home in a new environment, as well as being able to spend good quality time with my SIL and her extended family. We have a lot of fun together, and even when we're not having all the fun, it's still great just to be around her. I love that girl and I hope she knows it!
I hated driving home, driving the back and forth, narrow roads on the passes that dropped down a cliff. My biggest fear aside from sliding on the gravel and brake failure was getting pushed off the mountain by a speeding truck coming around the bend from the opposite side. It's as if nobody reads speed limits or just thinks it's no big deal. I have deep rooted anxiety about travelling though, so maybe that's just the problem.
I have a bit of OCD when travelling. If I'm not in the drivers' seat, I tend to start obsessing about death. I image if I'm not in control, somebody who is won't see what I see, won't react the way I react, and it will end in disaster. I'm nearly unable to fly now, and I always drive to save my husband from the backseat driving, crying, and flinching every second of the way. I'm constantly kicking the imaginary brake pedal, bracing myself on the dash and the window, or holding my head in my hands, shaking my legs or my head, verbalizing stop stop stop or brake brake brake, or crying. While in the passenger seat, I have racing thought of burning crash scenes, being thrown from the car and thrust over the mountain, or just having a head on collision with another vehicle. I realize these thoughts are irrational, and the fact that my husband has not even so much as a ticket doesn't help the fact that I completely lose it over nothing. I'm seriously considering professional help before our big drive back home as I won't be able to stand the 28 hours driving on my own. We also want to make it to England soon, and there's no way I can be on a plane right now and survive the anxiety.
I know exactly where each of these separate anxieties stem from, I know that they are irrational, yet I find it extremely difficult to talk myself out of the anxiety once it starts. I hate this about myself. I used to feel so carefree. It seems like the older I get, the worse this OCD manifests itself. I can't even believe this happens; it seems so unreal.
Anyway, as always we arrive safe at home in one piece. Hello! We had a relaxing evening of dinner, movie, puppy cuddling, and NO unpacking or stress. Quite a change from a return home.
I wish we could have camped a bit longer, but I'm happy to have my plumbing back, and a warm bed. I'm so grateful for plumbing!!! You don't realize what a blessing it is until you've been in the back country, doing your business in a hole in the ground.
Meals
approx 2.5 cups Dutch oven mountain man breakfast--hasbrown potatoes, eggs, bacon, sausage, cheese, some other stuff I think
2 tbsp salsa
1.5 cup hot cocoa
1.5 cup water
2 cups of water
20 All Dressed chips
approx 7 pieces of beef jerky
1 Snickers with almonds
2 cups of water
4 slices of pizza
1/4 of a 9 inch cookie
591 ml Pepsi
Exercise
None
Notes:
-Yes, judge me. We didn't want to cook after such a long weekend. I suggested the pizza. I took all 4 slices. I scarfed them down. It was delicious. I totally regret having so much. I think this has been my worst meal in 20 days. I feel like I "failed" but I guess we all get a chance to mess up once in a while. Okay, 1 day in 20. Please give me a little leniency. I'll do good for the next 20 days. ;)
-Exercise was not going to happen today. Camping takes the life out of you. Excuse? Yes. It is what it is. Being able to write it down though and reflect gets me pumped for this coming week. I'm still determined. I don't count this as a fail. I remember that I'm trying to balance and that's that. I still am very aware of how much pizza I had, and I totally didn't need the Pepsi (they didn't even have Coke and I'm a Coke girl!) but I had it anyway. It was good. I should be careful not to fall in to the easy, carefree trap. It's easy to fall into that complacency, so watch out next week--there's a lot of making up and planning not to fail to be done.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Day 19
Woke up after a very horrible sleep. I'm in no way an expert camper--quite the opposite. We had a double high queen size mattress, complete with a flannel bottom sheet, flannel top sheet, 3 thin-ish blankets, and thick sleeping bag. I still woke up through the night shivering. I finally got the nerve to open the covers and put on sweats and my hoodie, but I still found myself shivering. I probably got an hour or two of uninterrupted sleep the entire night. Most everyone gave me smirky smiles the next morning as some had even stated they were hot the whole night. Okay, so they were in the trailer, but still. Andrew even slept in a comfortable temperature, only waking every single time I moved. He said this was no bowling ball mattress (you know, the kind you drop a ball on one side and the movement doesn't transfer over). Awe, my poor husband!
So the general consensus was to put a sleeping bag underneath us, over top of the air mattress. Apparently I failed the course when they taught us about air mattresses trapping all the cold air. Suffice it to say last night I slept better than if I were in my own bed, having properly prepared the air mattress this go around, and having enough drag in me to crash for eight uninterrupted hours.
We walked down to the river which was too cold to wade in. There was ladder golf, and an interesting game of Mao, which I have to say left me beet red in my tear stained face. At about the 12th out of 15 rounds, I was having such a hard time keeping up and remembering everything, that words came out all jumbled in gibberish. My thought process to verbal delivery is broken. It was very amusing though. We all had a great laugh. It opened up some getting to know my SIL's BIL and his fiancee who are some very awesome people. It was a great afternoon, and I love that game!!!!
It wouldn't be camping without smores and I kind of pushed for them at the end of the day as we were sitting around the campfire. :) I didn't go crazy and only had one but it was soooo worth it! The night ended with a few fireworks let off down by the river (which was about 25 yards away) and beautiful, sweet sleep.
Meals
2 pieces of Texas toast french toast
2 tsp Becel margarine
approx 2 tbsp buttery syrup
1 cup of milk
1 banana
2 cups of water
Snacks throughout the day consisting of:
3 inch seafood sub (l/o)
1 white chocolate macadamia nut cookie
approx 15 slices of homemade beef jerky
2 pieces of watermelon
a couple handfuls of cherries
a handful of yummy Chex mix
approx 4 cups of water
tin foil dinner--approx 1.5 cup of potatoes
1/2 cup of carrots
1/4 cup of onion
3 oz seasoned hamburger
2 tsp Becel margarine
3X1X1 square of caramel rice crispy treat (and not 4X4X1 which is what I would normally go for)
2 cups of water
smores!--2 graham crackers
3 squares of Hershey milk chocolate candy bar
2 marshmallows
1 cup of water
Exercise
None
Notes:
-Well I could have prepared my meals out and been very particular about what I ate, but we pooled money in and ate what everyone else had. So I did my best to have what everyone else was eating without going too overboard. I even skipped the cheese sauce again, that most people put on their dinners. It's getting really easy to do, skipping the cheese lately. I did go heavy on the sweets compared to what I would do at home, but I'm very proud of myself for limiting my consumption to one, as in the smores, or a very small piece as in the rice crispy treats. Compared to what I would do on a previous camping trip, I was a saint. Compared to what I've been doing for my changed lifestyle, I had a LOT of sugar. Weighing pros and cons, however, I'm very pleased with the balance I think I achieved.
-Again the exercise was a no go. I felt being out in the wilderness, not having a couch to lounge on all day long, was a step up in the activity department, although as I think back to it, I wasn't very hardcore, determined, or motivated. Having excuses gets really easy when you're not in your element. I feel badly for not having exercised all weekend, now that I'm home. I realize that camping is the exception, but we should have at least gone on a long walk. Our longest walk lasted maybe a half hour and that was just a stroll including walking back and forth picking up the Bocce balls. This would have been a perfect opportunity to try out a workout away from the gym, but I just didn't prepare myself. I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself because this is still new, but then again I want to change and my activity level was pretty sedentary. Sigh.
So the general consensus was to put a sleeping bag underneath us, over top of the air mattress. Apparently I failed the course when they taught us about air mattresses trapping all the cold air. Suffice it to say last night I slept better than if I were in my own bed, having properly prepared the air mattress this go around, and having enough drag in me to crash for eight uninterrupted hours.
We walked down to the river which was too cold to wade in. There was ladder golf, and an interesting game of Mao, which I have to say left me beet red in my tear stained face. At about the 12th out of 15 rounds, I was having such a hard time keeping up and remembering everything, that words came out all jumbled in gibberish. My thought process to verbal delivery is broken. It was very amusing though. We all had a great laugh. It opened up some getting to know my SIL's BIL and his fiancee who are some very awesome people. It was a great afternoon, and I love that game!!!!
It wouldn't be camping without smores and I kind of pushed for them at the end of the day as we were sitting around the campfire. :) I didn't go crazy and only had one but it was soooo worth it! The night ended with a few fireworks let off down by the river (which was about 25 yards away) and beautiful, sweet sleep.
Meals
2 pieces of Texas toast french toast
2 tsp Becel margarine
approx 2 tbsp buttery syrup
1 cup of milk
1 banana
2 cups of water
Snacks throughout the day consisting of:
3 inch seafood sub (l/o)
1 white chocolate macadamia nut cookie
approx 15 slices of homemade beef jerky
2 pieces of watermelon
a couple handfuls of cherries
a handful of yummy Chex mix
approx 4 cups of water
tin foil dinner--approx 1.5 cup of potatoes
1/2 cup of carrots
1/4 cup of onion
3 oz seasoned hamburger
2 tsp Becel margarine
3X1X1 square of caramel rice crispy treat (and not 4X4X1 which is what I would normally go for)
2 cups of water
smores!--2 graham crackers
3 squares of Hershey milk chocolate candy bar
2 marshmallows
1 cup of water
Exercise
None
Notes:
-Well I could have prepared my meals out and been very particular about what I ate, but we pooled money in and ate what everyone else had. So I did my best to have what everyone else was eating without going too overboard. I even skipped the cheese sauce again, that most people put on their dinners. It's getting really easy to do, skipping the cheese lately. I did go heavy on the sweets compared to what I would do at home, but I'm very proud of myself for limiting my consumption to one, as in the smores, or a very small piece as in the rice crispy treats. Compared to what I would do on a previous camping trip, I was a saint. Compared to what I've been doing for my changed lifestyle, I had a LOT of sugar. Weighing pros and cons, however, I'm very pleased with the balance I think I achieved.
-Again the exercise was a no go. I felt being out in the wilderness, not having a couch to lounge on all day long, was a step up in the activity department, although as I think back to it, I wasn't very hardcore, determined, or motivated. Having excuses gets really easy when you're not in your element. I feel badly for not having exercised all weekend, now that I'm home. I realize that camping is the exception, but we should have at least gone on a long walk. Our longest walk lasted maybe a half hour and that was just a stroll including walking back and forth picking up the Bocce balls. This would have been a perfect opportunity to try out a workout away from the gym, but I just didn't prepare myself. I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself because this is still new, but then again I want to change and my activity level was pretty sedentary. Sigh.
Day 18
Picked up Andrew from work, met the SIL, BIL, and nephew, and headed out to the Kananaskis area. Set up camp in rain sprinkles. Ready for an awesome weekend...
Meals
6 inch Subway sandwich--seafood on honey oat. Lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, olives, pepper, and 2 lines of southwest sauce.
2 cups of water
2 cups of water
approx 2 cups taco salad. Lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, red pepper, 3 tbsp salsa, 2 tbsp sour cream, approx 4 oz seasoned ground beef and kidney beans, 12 corn taco chips
2 cups of water
1.5 cups of water
1.5 packets of hot cocoa mix
Exercise
None
Notes:
-Forgot to drink more water. Camping, getting ready for camping, etc. was taxing on keeping a normal diet. I did try to pay attention to what I was eating though. I did opt for the sour cream, but I didn't use cheese. I guess that cancels out. Also, my plate wasn't stacked too high with all the fatty toppings, so I think it was a good compromise.
-Yeah, having to pack in the morning and leaving for over a 3 hour drive, as well as setting up a tent in the rain left no time left for exercise. I should have planned for something, but I didn't.
Meals
6 inch Subway sandwich--seafood on honey oat. Lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, olives, pepper, and 2 lines of southwest sauce.
2 cups of water
2 cups of water
approx 2 cups taco salad. Lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, red pepper, 3 tbsp salsa, 2 tbsp sour cream, approx 4 oz seasoned ground beef and kidney beans, 12 corn taco chips
2 cups of water
1.5 cups of water
1.5 packets of hot cocoa mix
Exercise
None
Notes:
-Forgot to drink more water. Camping, getting ready for camping, etc. was taxing on keeping a normal diet. I did try to pay attention to what I was eating though. I did opt for the sour cream, but I didn't use cheese. I guess that cancels out. Also, my plate wasn't stacked too high with all the fatty toppings, so I think it was a good compromise.
-Yeah, having to pack in the morning and leaving for over a 3 hour drive, as well as setting up a tent in the rain left no time left for exercise. I should have planned for something, but I didn't.
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