Day 39

What, what, what? FIVE straight days of gym time. That's a first in a very long while. I'm hoping to make it 6 tomorrow and I'll be happy with resting on Sunday. I've noticed the past couple of weeks have been kind of sluggish on the weight loss, so I hope that getting in this extra time will help with that. This happened last time on my big gym going stint that I started out well and tapered off losing only 12 pounds in 4 months! I'm already +10 pounds at this point so I hope I can keep it up, even at just 1-2 pounds a week--that's pretty healthy anyway, isn't it? It's just kind of depressing needing to lose so much and not see it drop. I compare myself to the contestants on the Biggest Loser and other reality weight loss shows, and I know that it's ridiculous to do so because they've got trainers and nutritionists, and are working out 8-10 hours a day. I just have it in my head, especially since my doctor's even told me this, that because I have so much to lose, at first I "should" lose a lot. But I guess because I'm not on a "diet" and I allow myself ice cream and potato chips here and there, it won't be dramatic. I'd like to make a huge dramatic shift, but I don't see myself living that if I do it for the sake of losing weight really fast. This is a lifestyle and as much as I write it here over and over again, I'm still convincing myself of that very point and trying not to get down on myself when I only see a small number on the scale. A number down is a number down though. I just wish I'd be at my goal by the time I'm 30 and that's not going to happen. I want my best years to be lived, and I feel the clock ticking while I'm waiting for my body to catch up with my aspirations. I'm going to be 30 when I turn 30 no matter what I'm doing so I may as well suck it up and appreciate that I'll be a little smaller (instead of hugely) versus no change at all if I kept complaining about it and not doing anything. This is certainly one day at a time.

We had some friends over for dinner, and a movie, and they showed us how to play Liar Liar, which we will definitely have to play again and hopefully remember to teach my SIL assuming she doesn't know it yet (although she is the queen of cards and board games so it wouldn't surprise me if she did already). Having people over meant a huge cleaning day for me and as always I finished minutes before they arrived, thankfully. I really have a procrastination problem and should have cleaned yesterday. I'm so busy not being busy that when I do get busy I can't enjoy anything. That's not to say I didn't enjoy myself because I really did, but my brain has to switch modes abruptly instead of just transitioning from calm and not having company, to calm and having company. Maybe that's where a lot of my stress lies.

Awesome news! I took my blood pressure readings today at Safeway. My BP was 131/88, pulse 70 (this is after sitting for only a couple of minutes after having ran around shopping). These numbers are a bit high, ideal being <120/80 but I'm considered in the normal range. This is also excellent because when I had my BP read at the doctors during my lazy days, my BP was something like 139/96 and my resting pulse rate was 90 bpm. Those numbers are considerably improved. I'm ecstatic about my diastolic being in the high normal stage versus where it was in the hypertension stage. When I had my numbers checked by the doctor, they prescribed 5mg ramipril daily to me which I took for a week, but had horrible side effects (fatigue so much that I slept almost all day, and dizziness). I opted to stop taking them on my own, which I would not advise anyone to do without speaking to your doctor first, and decided to try exercise and see if it made a difference. I think it has! I'll need to keep checking it though because it is high normal still after 5 weeks of exercise. My hope is that I can change my diet and exercise in such a way that I can naturally obtain optimal levels--<120/<80. Maybe that will come with the decrease in weight. Pray for me!

Meals
1 Fibre One chocolate and oat bar
3 cups of water

1/2 Chili's nacho burger (l/o)
15 french fries
1 tbsp ketchup
2 cups of water

1/2 cup pineapple
1 cup of water

1/2 cup Cinnamon Appletini (designated, of course)

2 pieces marinated chicken thigh approx 5 oz
1/2 cup potato salad
2 cups greek-ish salad (spinach, tomato, cucumber, green onions, olives, feta, 1 tbsp peppercorn ranch dressing)

3/4 cup Orange Creamsicle ice cream

Exercise
15 minutes cyclical trainer
40 minutes lower body machines and core work
20 minutes stretching

Notes:
-Having people over allowed me all the sugar with the drink and the ice cream. I held back too so I'm feeling pretty good about that. This is a balance thing in action.
-I'm so excited I did 5 days of exercise this week already!